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Dnipro, Ukraine - Nov 16, 2022

The day I died 

with him

By Alina Karnaukhova

Dnipro, Ukraine,
Nov 16, 2022

ai27.05.22
ai06.58 in the morning - a call that I'm really looking forward to. So short and so necessary.
ai- Good morning my love❤
aiI breathe, every time after your call I breathe, I live, I dream about the next one and I dream about our meeting.
ai09.18 - your voice again, warm and as if warming you with your embrace. Such a short call, your last call...
aiI love you my dear, I want to see you...
aiI did not feel that this day would be scary. I write, as usual, the Internet, SMS. Somewhere there will definitely be a network, somewhere I will definitely see the answer. After the fight, when there will be a minute...
ai17.04 The call... I hold the phone, see the screen and my heart sinks from all-consuming fear. I am the wife of a military man, I know why commanders call... Two more minutes of hope... and the abyss...

There, two black bags, no, not the same, completely different, because he is in one.

aiDeath is about others, death is not about us. I just want to be with him...
aiThe road... broken like my fate. And the night, as dark as my pain.
aiThere, you can't turn on the headlights, there, an all-consuming black hole... terrible and endless... which twists our souls and leads us somewhere into the light...
aiThere, two black bags, no, not the same, completely different, because he is in one, I know which one, because I can feel him...
aiThere are no tears, because he is alive for me and I am near, even that lake of red blood under the head does not change anything. The doctor desperately tries to cover his head, but I'm not afraid, he's mine, all mine...
aiI caressed bare belly, and I did not feel death, warm and familiar, as I always looked for under the skin, broken ribs from his youth...
aiHe is near and I was very calm...
aiThen it was necessary to get up from the bloody, cold floor and go, and this is the most terrible thing that can happen to a person... To go into an abyss in which I will never be able to touch you. In the abyss of pain and loss, in the abyss with the sweet smell of death and hopelessness...
aiThe price of our struggle is more terrible than the gates of hell, but we have no choice, we have to overcome this path to victory...

Lev Boiko

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