war story
Altenau, Germany - Aug 1, 2023
How to leave your home
How to leave
your home
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By Yana Kosinova-Zhukovska
Altenau, Germany, Aug 1, 2023
aiEarly March. It became clear
that there would be no
heating, that shelling finally
ruined the boiler room under
the slabs. But the cold was not
as frightening as the silence of
our air defense and the
sounds of the bombers.
aiThe howling of the air alert
almost did not stop. Having
destroyed our air defense, the
Russian planes began night
raids on the city. The
approaching rumble ...
aiMy heart missed a beat and
I thought: That's it. The end...
The hum moves away, and I
hear a distant explosion. I
exhale with relief: “Not this
time.” And between such
raids, a roll call with friends:
“How are you?” ... “Alive” ...
“Very close, it’s scary” ... “The
house shook” ...
aiThirst. Constantly. And the
fear that the water is running
out. I suddenly realized that I
had not eaten for more than a
day. And that I can't do it, I
can’t cope with the nervous
tension.
aiI had a psychologist friend
who once worked in the
Ministry of Emergency
Situations. I wrote to her
asking for help. She
immediately called back and
offered therapy: "Try to feel
this part of your body ... now
this part ..." But I could hear
only the air raid siren howling.
I didn't feel my body.
aiRealizing that food, medicine
and water were running out, I
decided to get out of the city.
Taxis still took people to the
station to the evacuation
trains, but not from my area. I
was looking for someone who
could help us through my
friends on social networks,
and some volunteers
immediately agreed. Because
of the frequent shelling of my
area, they could not reach us
for two days.
A month later that
volunteer will die from a
shell, the bread they were
delivering splashed with
his blood.
aiWe spent the night in the
bomb shelter and didn’t sleep,
it was cold and dusty there.
On the concrete floor, the
body froze instantly. At six in
the morning we returned to
the apartment, and at seven
o'clock the volunteers called
me, they were ready to come
and take us out of the area.
Twice I called them back and
asked them to wait, we were
under fire.
aiFinally, a minivan arrived,
there were no seats, we sat on
the floor. They had already
picked up a woman with her
two children. She held them
tightly to her. Her gaze was
tense and frightened ...
aiI handed the volunteers
some money with words of
gratitude. I knew they were
doing it for free, but I wished
to pay for the gas. A young
man Anton, embarrassedly,
turned his blue eyes aside,
smiled and said: “I won’t take
it. You’ll need it." Then I
handed him an apple ...
aiA month later, during the
evacuation of the elderly,
Anton will die from a shell fired
by the Russian multiple rocket
launcher called Grad in a
civilian area. The bread that
they were delivering for
people will be splashed with
his blood. Anton left behind a
mother, a young wife and a
baby.
aiIt was scary at the railway
station, an air raid could begin
at any moment. We went to
the platform, it was full of
people. The police announced
that women with children
would be the first to board the
train.
aiIn the crowd, I noticed my
old acquaintance with her
three children. Her husband
died a few years ago in the
Donbas, fighting against
separatists and the Russian
military. We hugged. For some
reason there were no words,
only tears in our eyes. I told
her: "Take care of yourself."
She silently nodded, trying to
hold back her tears. We did
not know if we would see each
other again.
I knew there would be a war…